In this week’s article, we give it a rest.
Pause
I try not to indulge myself too much in this blog, but today is different.
If I’m being honest, it’s been over a month since I felt excited about finding something to write about each Sunday. I’ve lost the plot.
You, my dear reader, might have noticed.
Readership is dropping off a cliff, as if you can smell my uncertainty. I don’t blame you, the articles have been boring. If not exactly boring, then certainly lacking a genuine attempt to connect with you.
My apologies.
Loss
Though I did not know him well, I was included in an elderly man’s process of medically assisted dying.
He died last Tuesday.
I was able to see him the week before, the day before, but not on the day of his passing. Nor did I see his body, draped in the American flag as he was a veteran, because I did not want to.
He was terminally ill and he had his fill of life, so he wanted to go on his own terms.
I respect him for that, but it didn’t make seeing the grief of his wife, his daughter, and his granddaughter any easier. I feel humbled to have been part of such a profound and deeply personal event, even as a stranger.
His death affected me more than I expected.
Ennui
And when it gets too full, and I can’t close the lid
I spaz on my family and my closest friends— Big K.R.I.T., “The Vent”
There’s an emptiness inside of me.
I’ve tried to feed it a diet of quick pleasures; it swallows them up. Even after one of my best ideas recently, the excitement fades. So, what can be done for this hole to feed?
Money doesn’t buy you most everything.
Hint
I promised myself I would write this blog regularly for at least a year.
After that, I will write when I have something to say.